Living in a Dream -3 (perception)

It was a dream which happened to me sleeping for long hour , when i was sleeping still concious and went past memory lane.I went to my adulthood, childhood and stopped my journey of time at prenatal stage .

I struggled inside a womb for quite a lifetime. Later when i came to this world they told me that time was nine month , what i thought as endless time when i had no refrence to time. I just thought it is just the universe and time is infinite for me.I didn't knew then what is time , space and all . And then one Fine day a big rush got me here with big big gigantic figures around me i didn't know then what they were , later i came to know they are human species and i'm one of them. I didn't know of anything no word nothing i knew of pain only because i know i cried the time they cut my access to food and supplies for my life time inside the womb, my umbilical cord . I remebered then the days of peace when i had no worries everything happened at its own . No worries of food being fed , here i was helpless couldn't tell them whats happening i was confused . I only had a language of cry , everytime i cried they thought of my problems and started solving them either i wanted some food or wanted to pee most of the times.

Here everyday they were giving me something new everyday someone was coming holding me in hands and trying to make funny faces , i didn't know then what funny was and what does it mean but sure i smiled no body told me how to smile but i did.And every other person came and tried to hold me did strange things , at the end they made me cry or some people really made me smile.It was my decision at that time what will make me smile and what will piss off me.After quite sometime they made strange voices to me and showed a happy expression. That voice was my name . Now every time they made that voice i started identifying myself with that voice. They repeatedly showed me toys and made happy faces, later with that toy i made up a connection of being happy and still remember its something to play with. Ofcourse given a choice of exploring it myself all on my own , i would have taken a lot of meaning out of it . It could have been something living just like me in my own world, i would have expected it to make noises like we humans do. Then some people repeatedly kept telling me the concept of colour, and showed me two toys i didn't know what colour was and which was which colour . But told me one was red and the other yellow. I started seeing each thing around me as red or yellow i started identifying them with the knowledge of some body else who didn't even know what colour it was for me.May be what he saw in red was a yellow for me. I saw some figures and they told me this is male that is female, may be i saw entirely different world , what seemed round to them may be was square in my world. Thats how we all became living in this world , where everybody's material world is the same . Ofcourse beacuse we were told to identify it the way the other saw it and thats why we are living in a similar world perhaps. The world not formed by our own thoughts , but a conversation surrounding us. The world of words . And then i saw a group of people standing by myside one person gave a certain expression and the other person cried. Later from their conversation i learned that expression pertains to resentment and cry pertains to sorrows may be. And then i started practicing what i learnt . When some one came near to me and gave a particular expression what i learnt around me. Thats why i cry when some one doesn't love me or some body leaves me .I smile when it rains. I sleep when its night .

I was woken up by a sound of cuckoo ofcourse somebody told me as a child its a sound of cuckoo without realising what sound i heard.And when i woke up my world was same as yours . The sun was round and the grass was green.

Living a Dream -2 ( fractals of life)

I was there lying numb thinking not about anything surrounding me . This
moment i was me . Then something happened i was no more there , i was my brain and i thought about nothing else but the sapce i was contained in . I the brain inside some space may be you can call it body but i never knew then , started what constitutes me and the next momnet i was neuron in body and i was living happily in a social setup of other neurons. When in a moment of calmness when i had not much work to do and nothing much was going in my world very less movement , chaos inside i started thinking what constitutes me . And the next moment i was a cell on my planet neuron , there were lot of us .I would have gone infinitely into possibilities of my constitutions. Suddenly some one jolted me , i was thrown of the illussion of being a cell to being a neuron to being a brain and finally all the thoughts stabilised when i realised i was just a human living in a setup of society where there are others like me .But if i try to see the posssibility of what im constituted of , i keep on travelling new universes for me where my refrence of my peers and universe itself keeps altering .As i enquire into the possibility of waht im constituted of , i find that either the enquiry extends to infinity or i'm made up of nothing as there's no limit how small the level of my deepest micron and submicron will be.

The next time when i was lying there staring at the ceiling of my room the thought occured to me it was difficult what im constituted of but an enquiry into what is constituted of me as basic unit will be best thing to do as it will be visible in my mind . I thought i'm a basic unit of what is constituted out of me. I'm lying in a room .This room is in a city , a city in a continent , a continent , on this planet , planet constitues our solar system to this level i could imagine and visualise . There will be lot of these solar system which makes this universe .Now for the next level of enquiry i was not able to distinct as my senses and concepts i learned didn't give me an explantion on what lies above it what is something that universe makes .It is just defined or said as an infinite space . Infinite means something immeasurable . But still According to distinction of senses every thing has some dimensions , no matter meausrable or not . If i carry my enquiry further for even a lifetime i'll keep on exploring the next possibilty of exploration , but there has to be end of it , and if there an end to it from some level it should be visible or having some dimensions .But that constitutes another paradox of if it has dimensions it should constitute something bigger .

The next time i was lying i was caught up in a thought that if i enquire about what i constitute ?or what constitutes me ? the possibilty of finding the truth is not there. So there i went to sleep a dreamless blank sleep where there was no paradox no truth no posssibility even no me .Is thats our real existence ? and when i woke up i woke up to this dream again.

Living a dream -1

I'm drowning in deep waters.Algae entangled in my feet.Some fish trying to bite me up.
The coarse particles have already bruised my body,so much damage to my body was done when
i was sleeping on the sea floor,i slept for hours,days,years and decades may be .
I don't know how i was alive but believe it i'm alive. And just now somebody touched me and
i was awake .
“save me” I screamed , a silent scream in a vast sea ,only few bubbles formed and a
throat choked.
Why it is that when i was sleeping in my dream i was away from this fear of drowning
and death , when i didn't knew where i am , when i was an absolute zero ?
And the moment i was awake lot of things came back
“ what if i drown ? ”
“ i don't want to die”
“ ohhh i can't bear this pain ”
and as i ascended above life seemed possible and thoughts started evolving from the
matter of death and life .
“ where's my car ?”
“ wheres the lady who woke me up from sea bed ?”
“ was it an accident ?”
“ was my car insured ?”
I came out of sea and thoughts evolved a bit
“ Sky is a beautiful creation , why i never thought of painting it ?”
“ One of her wild fantasy is to make out on a saline beach with sun going down,
when each kiss tastes salty”
“ This seashore reminds me of coldplay's yellow , moreover this twilight”
And suddenly somebody jolted my shoulder .. and infact i was drowning
not in water this time and my feet were entangled not in alagae .
I was drowning in a weave of dreams getting entangled in my own imagination of an
illussion of this world surrounding me.
And i wish somebody had jolted me really ...